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Quick Answer:
People get defensive about feedback when the comment lands as a verdict on who they are instead of information about what they did. Defensiveness shows up in the second before you speak. You can reduce it by noticing your early body signals, asking what you are making the feedback mea...
Quick answer: Being triggered means something in the present sets off a reaction that is bigger than the moment itself, because of the meaning you attach to it. You are not reacting to the event alone. You are reacting to what it seemed to say about you, the other person, or what happens next, often...
You keep reacting the same way because the reaction follows an automatic sequence, an event, a meaning you attach to it, a shift in your state, then the reaction itself, that runs faster than conscious thought. It's a pattern recognition problem, not a willpower problem, and the pa
...Relationship Intelligence is the ability to recognize the patterns underneath your reactions, in yourself and in others, before they run the interaction. It treats recurring conflict as a pattern to understand rather than a character flaw to fix through willpower alone.